Just about every Wednesday evening I have ladies night with a couple girlfriends of mine. I meet them after work at a restaurant we pick and we hang out for a couple of hours and blow off some steam, catch up on what’s going on in our lives and generally talk about anything and everything until it’s time to go home. We have done this for over two years now, on a pretty consistent basis. Initially when we started, all three of us worked in the same industry, and many times it was about work stories, but when I had my son and my life plans changed, my stories became different.
I love my Wednesdays and value them now more then ever. My world has completely changed. I no longer meet them in my work blazers, black or gray slacks, nude pumps or matched necklace and earrings like I used to. I don’t look at the clock on my computer screen anymore, waiting to clock out after my work day and then yell in my car at the rush hour traffic to get out of my way because I’ve gotta go, go, go! Those days are over for the meantime. Now, I have to wait until my husband comes home from work, so he can take care of our son and I can go meet them. As crazy as this sounds, I love driving to get there! Rush hour traffic doesn’t bother me at all. I know, insane! Haha. Ladies night is my chance to turn on the radio as loud as I want without worrying about cuss words! I enjoy the scenery on the way there, even the road construction. I am a nice driver, well, nicer than the other people who are annoyed with traffic wanting to get home. I seriously don’t mind if I get the red light, and I don’t care if I get cut off. Crazy huh?! It at all the driver I used to be. I’m in a happy state listening to the radio, singing along. Besides driving, I also don’t meet them in my work attire anymore. I usually wear sundresses, shorts, sometimes even yoga pants and flip flops, and no jewelry besides my wedding ring. I still do put on my makeup and do my hair, because let’s face it, I’m loving the fact that I’m getting out of the house! 😁
About half the time I am the first one to get there. I’ll grab us a table, look over the menus and catch up on my social media while I’m waiting. I actually am by myself for just a little while at a public place! In my head it goes something like this, “Yay!! It’s Ladies’ Night!!”, over and over again. No toddler, no husband, just me, myself and I and the waiter on his way to grab my drink. It’s quite refreshing. Sometimes, being a stay at home mom can be very isolating. If you don’t choose to get out of the house, the house can essentially “trap” you inside. If you allow it, days can go by and you will all of the sudden realize you haven’t showered, washed your hair, brushed your teeth, etc. Staying at home with kids and no face to face adult interaction whatsoever all day long can be a very lonely journey. I have gone down this path myself, before I knew it was a path at all. I went from one extreme to the other when I became a stay at home mom, and didn’t realize everything that went into actually staying at home. I started realizing that I was only getting out on Wednesdays, and it was only because of my ladies night. Sometimes, I still do, but the key now is that I realize it and change it when I see it happening. I will be in such a funk that I won’t want to go sometimes, but these girls have made me get out of the house, and I couldn’t be more thankful to them. These girls and this time has become so important to my mental health state. Because of this time, I am able to have “me” time and interact with other adults, without watching over a toddler to make sure they won’t have a temper tantrum, making sure they eat everything on their plate and basically overall not paying attention to myself.
Having conversations without cartoons in the background, without wiping a face or general keeping a little one alive and fed is amazing! I couldn’t be more appreciative that I get to do ladies night with a couple of girlfriends on a weekly basis. I truly believe this opportunity that I have is one of the ways I don’t lose my shit sometimes, or fall into some isolating depression or develop some social anxiety issues. I’m able to be me and I’m also able to listen to them and it’s truly always a great conversation. I am the only one in this group that is married and with a child. In many ways, I am able to relive my single, working woman days through them and it’s such a great, diverse conversation each time we meet up. To hear about the latest in the industry, work mishaps, family time, what’s going on with who and all while drinking a couple of margaritas is great and truly a breath of fresh air. I really think every stay at home mom NEEDS this time for herself and on a weekly basis. Staying at home can be a lonely, isolating journey if you allow it to be. It is a slippery slope and can lead to problems such as depression or social anxiety. Personally, I make it a goal to get out of the house every single day, but that’s another story. If you are a stay at home mom and don’t do this, do it, please! If you know a mom that has been locked inside her house for days, do her a favor and invite her for an evening out. She really needs it and will thank you for it. It truly is a mental life saver. 😉💞👭👭